SPEAK UP! : 5 Reasons You should Talk through your Feelings.

So many times, us ‘Married folk’ choose to swallow our words and disguise this as “picking our battles”. Although picking battles is smart, you SHOULD pick some every once in awhile. Never picking ANY is just a formula for unhappiness and division within your home.  We all know I ain’t about that life! Let me share with you WHY it's always a good idea to be vocal with your feelings.

   1.  NO RESENTMENT.

Borderline Disgusted.

You know what's the worst? Trying to sweep a very heavy subject under the rug with the fear that you and your spouse will disagree. Here's the Gag….YOU WON'T ALWAYS AGREE. Crazy, right? Even though you're married, you're not always going to see eye to eye. If things that weigh heavy on your spirit get ignored on  a consistent basis, it's  inevitable that you will begin to resent your mate.  That leads to a world of issues that wouldn't even exist if communication was something you didn't fear.

2. OBLIVION. THEY'LL BE IN IT.

You all mad. He's all sleep. :/

People (mostly women) assume that their minds are readable at any given time. With this alternative fact, there is no way that your mate can’t know why you're upset!  You see how extremely silly that sounds?  The truth is, if you don’t make your feelings painfully clear,  Oblivion is a land that people (especially our men) have no issue residing.If there is an actual desire to solve issues, don’t let anyone get comfy in Oblivion.  The longer they stay, is the more irritated you become.

3. COMFORT. YOU WANT IT.

Get Familiar.

Personally, it is an amazing feeling to just be totally comfortable with sharing my positive AND negative thought with my husband.  I mean, I share a bed with the Dude for crying out loud!  I will admit that it wasn’t always easy for me.  However, I knew that I wanted longevity, and closed mouths don’t get heard.  Passive aggressive behavior is just annoying to both parties.  I’d avoid that as well.  I know these “new age” relationships live in the land of the petty, but nothing gets resolved that way.

4. COMPROMISE IS NEEDED.

The only way to be able to reach some sort of happy median is to actually voice what the heck may be wrong with you.  There’s no way to resolve anything if there is no information on the problem, right?  Of course I am.  Compromise is necessary, but so are the facts that we are compromising ABOUT.  Talking through your feelings makes it common knowledge to all parties involved, and brings you one step closer to a resolution.

5. CLARITY IS NECESSARY.

Yes. Yes we are.

I’ve got FOUR words for this one. Ain’t No. Half. Steppin’.  Clarity goes hand in hand with Oblivion.  Now that we have announced that something is wrong, being clueless is no longer the issue. Ambiguity has no place here either.  We want to make sure that the issue at hand is perfectly clear.  If we have to give examples of shoes being on other feet, break out play books and show when,where and HOW the fumble took place...then so be it.

Your marriage is worth being open and vulnerable.  It’s worth fighting through the misunderstandings to reach an understanding.  You can’t get to better times if you're ALWAYS sweeping EVERYTHING under the rug.  Now, make no mistake...under that rug can have a layer or two of dust bunnies.  Let’s just try to make sure Peter Rabbit and the whole squad aren’t getting too damn comfy.  Speak up..for the sake of your sanity, and the solace of your marriage.

Exes and Ohs….

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12 Comments

  • Reply
    Latoya | Life and a Budget
    May 17, 2017 at 8:45 am

    This is so true, especially number 2! Be laying in the bed looking at him all nad and he snoring. Lol, thats the worst and it does not work at all. I tap that shoulder and start talking.

  • Reply
    Stacie
    May 17, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    I’m a believer in talking things out. Problem is, sometimes guys ain’t trying to hear it. It definitely take two to communicate well.

  • Reply
    Joanna
    May 18, 2017 at 10:21 am

    Great tips. I’m all for talking things out. I need it for my own sanity. Nothing helps to bottle things up and explode when it becomes too much.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    May 18, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    Ha! You are so speaking to me right now. Ugh!

  • Reply
    Marsha
    May 18, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    This is so true! Communication is sooo important in relationships. So much gets misunderstood and feelings get hurt due to lack of or miscommunication. It’s always good to talk things out regardless how you think the other person will take it to avoid that build up of resentment.

  • Reply
    Carissa
    May 18, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    Very true!!! I am a talker while my husband is the opposite but we work together to find that common ground! Communication is VERY important in relationships!!

  • Reply
    Kiwi
    May 19, 2017 at 8:32 am

    Great convo about communicating feelings. Majority of relationship issues deal with lack of communicating properly.

  • Reply
    Aija
    May 19, 2017 at 9:21 am

    These are good points for talking things out, I have had to work on making sure I’m expressive so I don’t become resentful.

  • Reply
    Courtney CJ
    May 19, 2017 at 11:10 am

    My boyfriend has pushed me out of my comfort zone to talk about my feelings SO much, but I am grateful. Our communication is finally getting better. Even when I try to say I’m fine, he knows my energy and that something is off so we have to address it. I have to check myself sometimes internally to make sure I’m not trippin’ before I speak, but I am glad we can talk to one another about hard issues now.

  • Reply
    Brandis
    May 19, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    Clarity. YES! We know I don’t like being confused. 🙂

  • Reply
    LaQuisha
    May 21, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    Yes, yes and YES to this post!! I am constantly sharing with friends to say what is on their mind!

  • Reply
    Ramon
    May 24, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    Great post. These 5 reasons are spot-on. Talking through your feelings is important and sets the ground for a good relationship.

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