So many times, us ‘Married folk’ choose to swallow our words and disguise this as “picking our battles”. Although picking battles is smart, you SHOULD pick some every once in awhile. Never picking ANY is just a formula for unhappiness and division within your home. We all know I ain’t about that life! Let me share with you WHY it's always a good idea to be vocal with your feelings.
1. NO RESENTMENT.
You know what's the worst? Trying to sweep a very heavy subject under the rug with the fear that you and your spouse will disagree. Here's the Gag….YOU WON'T ALWAYS AGREE. Crazy, right? Even though you're married, you're not always going to see eye to eye. If things that weigh heavy on your spirit get ignored on a consistent basis, it's inevitable that you will begin to resent your mate. That leads to a world of issues that wouldn't even exist if communication was something you didn't fear.
2. OBLIVION. THEY'LL BE IN IT.
You all mad. He's all sleep. :/
People (mostly women) assume that their minds are readable at any given time. With this alternative fact, there is no way that your mate can’t know why you're upset! You see how extremely silly that sounds? The truth is, if you don’t make your feelings painfully clear, Oblivion is a land that people (especially our men) have no issue residing.If there is an actual desire to solve issues, don’t let anyone get comfy in Oblivion. The longer they stay, is the more irritated you become.
3. COMFORT. YOU WANT IT.
Personally, it is an amazing feeling to just be totally comfortable with sharing my positive AND negative thought with my husband. I mean, I share a bed with the Dude for crying out loud! I will admit that it wasn’t always easy for me. However, I knew that I wanted longevity, and closed mouths don’t get heard. Passive aggressive behavior is just annoying to both parties. I’d avoid that as well. I know these “new age” relationships live in the land of the petty, but nothing gets resolved that way.
4. COMPROMISE IS NEEDED.
The only way to be able to reach some sort of happy median is to actually voice what the heck may be wrong with you. There’s no way to resolve anything if there is no information on the problem, right? Of course I am. Compromise is necessary, but so are the facts that we are compromising ABOUT. Talking through your feelings makes it common knowledge to all parties involved, and brings you one step closer to a resolution.
5. CLARITY IS NECESSARY.
Yes. Yes we are.
I’ve got FOUR words for this one. Ain’t No. Half. Steppin’. Clarity goes hand in hand with Oblivion. Now that we have announced that something is wrong, being clueless is no longer the issue. Ambiguity has no place here either. We want to make sure that the issue at hand is perfectly clear. If we have to give examples of shoes being on other feet, break out play books and show when,where and HOW the fumble took place...then so be it.
Your marriage is worth being open and vulnerable. It’s worth fighting through the misunderstandings to reach an understanding. You can’t get to better times if you're ALWAYS sweeping EVERYTHING under the rug. Now, make no mistake...under that rug can have a layer or two of dust bunnies. Let’s just try to make sure Peter Rabbit and the whole squad aren’t getting too damn comfy. Speak up..for the sake of your sanity, and the solace of your marriage.
Exes and Ohs….