As I was scrolling through my blog post, I realized that I never addressed the sacrifices needed in order to keep bliss in your marriage. So, here's what I view as sacrificial MUSTS for the greater good of this thing called marriage.
Listen, this is WAY easier said than done. Regardless of what you may try to tell yourself, we value the opinions of others. In a union, that can become stifling you the trust and bond that you are constantly building in your relationship. Outside opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. Only you and your mate know exactly what you're willing to tolerate, so Aunt Lisa and Pastor Johnson can give their two cents, but the unique blend of that couple is ultimately what matters most. Give up the NEED for outside validation.
This is indeed the thief of joy! Sacrificing the desire to compare your relationship to that of another couple, or even what you two used to be will keep you in a constant state of angst. Being cool with the fact that you're supposed to grow together; instead of focusing on what Jim and Camille have will keep more peace in the home. Finding solace in the couple you are becoming may bring more happiness than focusing on who you two were in college. No looking back! Just up.
3. CLOSED MINDED COMRADES.
Ya know, I started to type “Single friends”, but I have a few single friends that respect and understand the differences in our dynamic. Those friends are worth keeping. It's the friends that have been around so long that life seems weird without them, yet you feel no growth or stimulation when they're around. These folks must be sacrificed for the greater good of YOU, period. Nevermind the fact that they probably will try to make you feel bad for missing some trivial event because your husband had a business dinner. Don't even touch on needing to hang up in the middle of their “urgent” story because you two are winding down and getting ready to cuddle. The fact that these people are selfish and only care about you when THEY are involved is toxic. So yeah, BYE to them. Decades or not.
4. ENDLESS SPONTANEOUS ACTS.
Aaaahhhh! This one is still tough for me, but at least there's a Happy median. I did say ENDLESS. So there will be times when we can plan a day trip the day before, or randomly get a little naughty in a not so practical space. There will be a decline in that area due to the whole employment, children, extra curricular activities and sleep thing. We must sacrifice the frequency, and be totally okay with it.
Your time isn't always yours. If you don't sacrifice your time for the sake of your marriage, it's not going to be a smooth ride. It doesn't matter WHAT couple may come across this. EVERYONE wants to feel loved enough to know that the person they vowed to spend their life with, is someone willing to give up the ONE thing they'll never get back. T.I.M.E.
Sacrifices must be made in order for a relationship to stand the test of time.
Did I miss anything? What are your thoughts on marital sacrifice?
I wanna hear it !
Exes and Ohs...