Goodness. I've had to take a day or 3 to process this new Jay Z album; 4:44. Jay z (Sean Carter) has laid several humble apologies within the body of his lyrics. There's a lot to be said about an individual that is willing to walk in his truth and just PLAIN OLE APOLOGIZE. Especially if that person is Jay Z... Beyonce’s husband.
Over the years, the Carter's have been the ‘relationship goals’ of so many men and women, but has that changed now that Jay used his latest album as a sounding board for all of the hurt and pain that he contributed to his marriage? These words cut deep, and made PLENTY realize that even the most sought after woman in the game has put up with some SHIT. Let's discuss, shall we?
1. Why do I find it so hard? When I know in my heart,
I'm letting you down every day..
LISTEN. This line alone resonates with so many…. on SO MANY levels. Once you get into that box that Pandora has been flaunting, it's hard as hell to do the right thing. You can look your family in the eyes and still go do some foolish shit to betray your vows and your legacy. Selfishness takes over, and it took Mr. Carter having a daughter to realize that lust and tantric energy wasn't worth his family. It wasn't an overnight process, and I'm sure their relationship went through a ton of shit to get to the reparation stage. The truth is, it BEEZ like that sometimes. Being selfless ain't as easy for some as it is for others….
2. I apologize for all the stillborns
'Cause I wasn't present, your body wouldn't accept it.
This image still makes me sad.
Knowing you are putting your wife under so much stress, that she couldn't carry a baby to term. Your baby. That still wasn't enough to make you say “Aight Jay, enough.” The fact that he can own his shortcomings, and say I'm sorry PUBLICLY was a big step. I don't know if I could stomach that. My rational mind says I wouldn't, but I'm the first to say that love will have you irrational as hell. Like, AS. HELL.
3. I'm never gonna treat you like I should…
He even apologized for this night. LOL
THE SAD FACTS. At the time, Jay Z knew he would never give Beyonce the commitment and loyalty that she deserved, and frankly, that wasn't his concern. That's more than likely how he got smacked up in that elevator by his sister in law, Solange. See, family are very much level headed, and it's tough to watch your loved ones be mistreated. Hopefully, this line of the song is based on OLD mindset. No one deserved to NEVER be treated the way they deserved to be.
4. I stew over.. what if ..you over.. MY SHIT?
She probably was...But LOVE...
When is enough, ENOUGH? I think this scenario can be compared to the movie SET IT OFF. How many times do you really think you can gamble before you are dealt a losing hand? Will you quit while you're ahead, or continue to try your luck? When I heard this line, I said “ LEMONADE got that ass shook! You better sit down and rebuild them sandcastles your wife sang about!” Seriously though, breaking points are real, and knowing that Bey was approaching hers might have had something to do with his choices.
Even though I'M SURE he's apologized a million times before this, these lyrics humanized this Superstar couple, and showed their fans that marriage is work… not just perfection.
I apologize to all the women whom I
Toyed with your emotions because I was emotionless..
I LOVED that he apologized to the woman that he used solely for personal gain as well. Lord knows what the hell he promised them, lulled them with, or gifted for his personal benefit. Good damn job. Leaving someone with a tank full of empty promises also deserves an apology...
Do you have a favorite line from Jay Z’s latest album, 4:44?
Tell me which one…. and WHY!
Exes and Ohs...